Addiction is one of the most devastating examples...
Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, ‘What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are: the Holy One of God.’ But Jesus said sharply, ‘Be quiet! Come out of him!’ And the unclean spirit threw the man into convulsions and with a loud cry went out of him. Mark 1:23-26
It is unlikely that you have seen somebody possessed by an evil spirit. But you have seen people in the grip of something that has taken over their lives and deprived them of their freedom and their peace. It can happen in many different ways. Addiction is one of the most devastating examples. Addictions take possession of people and take possession also of their families. This is not possession by an unclean spirit, but the devastating effects can feel like it is. In the Gospels of Matthew and Mark, the healing and freeing of this man is the first recorded miracle of Jesus. In it we see the concern Jesus had to free people from whatever took over their lives in a destructive way.
Living with an addict
I am thinking of the hundreds of thousands of people who live in a close relationship with an addict, a family member who is addicted to alcohol, to drugs or to gambling. Often their lives are taken over by the addiction of the other person. It is on their minds from morning to night, filling them with anger and grief, resentment and guilt. They see no possible improvement for themselves unless the addict gives up the addiction.
Lois and Bill
Lois was not long married to Bill Wilson when she discovered that he had a serious drinking problem. His condition became progressively worse over the next fourteen years. In 1934 he had a deep religious experience and never drank again. The following year he and Bob Smith founded Alcoholics Anonymous. Lois was actively involved with her husband in the new organization. She was surprised to find that after years of longing for her husband to stop drinking, she was still unhappy. One Sunday Bill asked if she was ready to go with him to a meeting; she threw a shoe across the room as hard as she could and she shouted, ‘Damn your old meetings!’ When she thought about this unexpected outburst, she realised that his long years of drinking had affected her in ways she had not noticed. Her whole purpose during those years had been to make her husband sober, and this had made her feel desperately needed. Now he was sober, she no longer felt needed and felt lost. She came to realise that the illness of the alcoholic affects the whole family. Not only does the alcoholic need a spiritual programme of recovery, those who live closely with the alcoholic need a similar programme. Lois went on to found Al-Anon which has helped countless people who have been affected by the addiction of a loved one. Similar programmes have been set up to help teenagers (Al-Ateen), family members of drug addicts (Nar-Anon) and of gamblers (Gam-Anon). In virtually every county in Ireland these organizations hold weekly meetings.
Get up and go
The only requirement for membership is that one has a relative or friend who has an addiction problem. Perhaps the hardest step to take is the first one: to pick oneself up in spite of despair, confusion and shame and go to a meeting. The surprise is to find that one is not alone and that so many others have gone through experiences similar to ones own. The person learns that addiction is a disease that affects all members of the addict’s family. The newcomer is introduced to the 12 step recovery programme. The very programme that offers recovery to the addict, offers a much needed recovery to the suffering family members also. They get practical advice: stop protecting the addict from the consequences of his or her actions: do not pay their bills or make excuses for them or bail them out if they are arrested; stop being a doormat, used and abused and walked all over and thereby enabling the addict to continue to avoid the consequences of destructive behaviour.
Finding peace and well-being
The 12 step programme encourages those who use it to acknowledge that they are powerless over the addiction, to come to believe that a power greater than themselves could restore them to sanity, and to put their lives in the care of God as they understand him. The members of Al-Anon, Narcotics-Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous come to realise that they can find peace and well-being whether or not the addict recovers from the addiction. Gradually they learn not to make the addict’s problem the number one thing in their lives. They stop trying to change the addict; they begin to see that the only one they can change is themselves. Remembering that alcoholism is a disease, they try to stop condemning and criticizing.
Jesus whom we read about in the Gospels is alive and active in the world still. We may expect to see him intervening in the lives of people who are held in bondage by forces beyond their power. We can surely see his hand at work in Alcoholics Anonymous and in Al-Anon, in Narcotics Anonymous and Nar-Anon, in Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon. For this we give God thanks.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.